New Reminders: Pretenses
by Ardith Hoff
Younge people often ask, “How do you know when you are really in love and not just infatuated with someone?” That is a fair question, to which that are few fool-proof answers. Some infatuations might eventually turn into true love, but many do not, when we find that the good-looking gal or guy turns out not to have the kinds of, interests, values and standards we are looking for in a lasting relationship. Sometimes, prospective love interests try very hard to pretend to be what the other person is looking for and says or does things that they don’t really believe in or stand for. We ourselves might even resort to such behavior in order to curry the favor of someone we think would be an ideal partner. Relationships based on such false pretenses, are doomed from the beginning. True love must be based on honest and open communication and behavior in order to grow into a lasting and mutually satisfying relationship.
Therapists have written that romantic love: “involves commitment, time, mutual trust, and acceptance."
Love of God must likewise be based on an honest and open desire for a true relationship with Jesus. All too many of us pretend to love God and follow the teachings of Jesus. It is one version of “Faking it until you make it.” This is much like the hope that an infatuation will turn into true love. It can, if we continue to seek for an honest relationship with Jesus, but it is best to dedicate ourselves to a true and wholehearted acceptance of God’s love and devote ourselves to loving God and our neighbors as ourselves. We all need to guard against adopting false displays of religiosity and humbly devote ourselves to developing a true love of God.
While on a mission trip to Haiti, author & speaker Jennifer Lee saw people eating mud pies in an attempt to satisfy their hunger. Lee wrote, “Their hunger was real, but they were putting something false in their bellies to make the grumbling stop. And don’t we often do the same thing? We put imitations inside us instead of the Bread of Life – and those other things will never satisfy our deep hunger.” Love Idol, Jennifer Lee, 2014, p.207
A well-known bible passage answers the question of what Love is, is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”