Reminders: Erasing Regrets
by Ardith Hoff
“A German high school teacher was struggling to rewind a DVD for her class, and in frustration she blurted out, ‘Where's the fast backwards button?!’ We've all had moments where we wish that button existed.” Reader's Digest, November 2014.
Some of us would like a fast backward button to return us to an earlier time when our lives were (or seemed) better. Some of us would also like the button to have an erase feature to blot out past mistakes. Many of us have regrets we would like to get rid of, some of our own making and some that were beyond our control.
Worry is closely related to regret. People with regrets often worry that they actually are bad people or that they deserved the terrible things that happened to them. Some worry that they can never make amends for the damage they may have caused or that they can never be forgiven for what they have done. They worry that the results of what they regret will have future repercussions for themselves and the person or people their actions have harmed.
A poem I wrote for a friend titled “Worry and Regret” speaks to that situation. It reads as follows: “Just as worry can’t change the future / Regret can’t change the past. / Once you have made amends and learned from your mistakes / Lock regret in the same strong box as worry, because / Just as regret can’t change what has happened/ Worry can’t change what might.”
In other words, neither regret nor worry can change things. The only actions that can effect change are repentance and forgiveness. While regret leads to guilt and remorse. Repentance leads to changes in behavior and potentially to forgiveness. If we take responsibility and confess our part in a regrettable situation, God is gracious to forgive.
“But if we confess our sins to God, He will keep his promise and do what is right: He will forgive us our sins and purify us from all our wrongdoing.” John 1:9 If we have been harmed, we need to be the one who forgives, just as God has forgiven us.