Reminders: Relationships

“Women worry that men will forget everything.  Men worry that women will remember everything.”  Yes, it’s a joke, but unfortunately, these kinds of perceptions are all too often perpetuated in our current culture where putting each other down is a common occurrence.

We’ve all heard wives and husbands make pointed jokes at their spouses’ expense, and some seem to habitually say derogatory comments about their spouse to other people.  It may seem harmless when said in a teasing or joking way, but these kinds of characterizations, even when said in jest, are hurtful to the person being denigrated.

This lesson was brought home to me some time ago when a young woman at work suddenly lost her husband in a car accident.  Just a few days after the accident, she returned to work.  She seemed remarkably calm and serene.  When asked how she was doing, she said, “The best thing I have going for me is that I have no regrets!  I never said a bad word about my husband to anyone, and he never said a bad word about me.”  I realized, when she said it, how unusual that was.

What a wonderful gift that young couple had given themselves.  They had made a commitment early in their marriage to always speak well of each other.  It gave that young widow great comfort knowing that she had shown respect and had been respected in return. 

The Bible tells us that if we want a peaceful existence, we need to act with peaceful intent.  In 1Thessalonians 5:15 Jesus said, “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other, and for everyone else.”

What a gift we can all give the people around us if we make a commitment not to say a bad word about anyone.  What a great feeling it would be to be able to say, “I have no regrets.”