Reminders: How to Tame a Bully

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the wedding chapel in a horse-drawn carriage when the old horse stumbled.  The farmer said, “That's once.”  A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.  The farmer said, “That's twice.”  After a little the poor old horse stumbled again.  The farmer didn't say anything.  He reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun, and shot the horse.  His new bride was horrified and said, “That was an awful thing to do.”  The farmer said, “That's once.” 

That old joke is an exaggerated illustration of how some people like to act when they want to appear tough.  They try to bully others into submission.  Intimidation is a way of trying to demonstrate superiority.

It is well established that bullies are actually very insecure people who do not feel confident.  They try to act confident by wielding power over others.  They try to affirm their power by making the other person feel powerless.  Often, the bully was a victim of bullying in the past.  He or she has reversed roles to make sure that they are never put down by anyone ever again, no matter what. 

Sometimes, the bully actually is in a position of power, i.e. is the bigger child, a parent, teacher, or boss and uses that power to intimidate others.  They have not learned that one pat on the back is better than a thousand reprimands in getting good results. 

On the other hand, if the bully is in effect throwing a tantrum, we need to be the adult in the room.  Just as a parent should not give in to a child’s tantrum, adults should not be allowed to get away with one either.  Kindly point out what the bully is doing and letting him or her know that you will not tolerate such treatment can sometimes be an effective deterrent to bullying.

If you are being bullied or realize that you might be a bully sometimes, the following Bible verses might help: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21 and Ephesians 4:2: “Act with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.”