New Reminders: Self-Worth

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”
 Alice Walker

When we think we have no power to change things, we want to pull up the covers and escape into sleep.  Maintaining control over our lives requires that we make a conscious choice to take back our power.  Before we can create positive change, we need to recognize the ways in which we give our power away.

Grumbling implies that you have no power over your situation.  It shows that you lack power over your attitude.  Saying our situation makes us feel bad about ourselves suggests that others have power over how we feel.  Instead, accept that it is up to you to manage your emotions, regardless of how others behave.

Giving in to guilt trips or refusing to speak up for ourselves gives power to other people.  Rather than blame them for wasting our time or "forcing" us to do something, recognize each of us is in charge of ourself.  Establish healthy physical and emotional boundaries that give you control over how you spend your time and with whom, puts you in control.

Holding a grudge against someone who has hurt you doesn't punish the other person—it only punishes you.  Blaming someone (even yourself) for hurting you, takes away your ability to enjoy the moment.  Forgiving is a way to take back our power.  But to be clear, forgiveness isn't about saying what the person did was OK.  It's about choosing to let go of the hurt and anger that interferes with our ability to enjoy life.

When we're not clear about what we want, we're at risk of becoming a helpless passenger rather than a confident driver of our own life.  Take back your power by acknowledging your values and living true to what's important to you. Make your self-worth independent of other people's opinions.

The best way to change is to get outside ourselves and do something nice for someone else.  But to do that, we first have to tend to our own needs.  We need to do something that makes us feel good about ourselves.  Accomplish one small thing that you have been putting off.  Sort your sock drawer, or whatever will give you a sense of accomplishment.  Then think of one thing you can do for someone else, even if it is just to clean up a mess you left in someone’s way.  Thinking about positive things can lift one’s mood.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8