New Reminders: Forgiving

At Charlie Kirk’s memorial service on September 21, 2025, his widow declared her forgiveness to the assassin.  Erika Kirk’s deliberate act of forgiveness, which was heard by millions of people, inspired actor Tim Allen to forgive the drunk driver who killed his father in 1964.  Allen was just 11 when his dad died and he carried unforgiveness for six decades.  He wrote on X, “That moment (Erika Kirk’s forgiveness) deeply affected me.  I have struggled for over 60 years to forgive the man who killed my dad.  I will say those words now as I type: ‘I forgive the man who killed my father.’”  As this story illustrates, forgiveness can have a ripple effect.  ABC News.go.com, 9/26/2025

Withholding forgiveness does not punish the person who is not being forgiven.  Often, they don’t even know whether the person they harmed is or isn’t forgiving them.  Many times, they couldn’t care less whether they are forgiven or not.  If they meant to hurt someone, and have no remorse, they may not even want to be forgiven.  However, that should have no influence over whether we offer forgiveness.  Matthew 6:14-15 tells us to forgive in order to have forgiveness from God for our own sins.  As the example above illustrates, our extending forgiveness can influence others to do the same.  It can help others understand that forgiveness benefits the forgiver, much more than the person being forgiven.  Forgivers who repent of their own sins, reap the benefits of receiving God’s forgiveness while the offender, might feel better if he or she knows they have been forgiven by the person they harmed, they still need to sincerely repent in order to receive God’s forgiveness for themselves.

Forgiving is not always easy.  Some offences might seem unforgiveable, but forgiving someone does not absolve the offender of the offence, they can still be held responsible by the law.  Forgiveness frees the offended to heal and move on.  It allows them to let go of hate toward the perpetrator of the offense that they might be holding on to.  The hallmark of sincere forgiveness is that we do not harbor feelings of vengeance toward the offender.  It does not mean that we will forget the offense, but it does help us move beyond the desire to inflict harm on the offender.  It allows us to leave it to law enforcement and ultimately, the judgement of God Himself to administer justice.  As hard as that is to do, forgiving our offender is required of us for our own wellbeing. 

The Bible presents God as the one who forgives "all your sins and heals all your diseases" Psalm 103:3, showing that forgiveness is linked to a restoration of body and soul.  The book of James connects confession, forgiveness, and healing, stating that praying for one another after confessing sins can lead to healing.  May we all forgive and pray for those who have harmed us, and in the process, may we all sincerely seek God’s forgiveness for ourselves as well.  Psalm 86:5 says, “You O Lord, are forgiving, abounding in Steadfast love.”