New Reminders: Loneliness
by Ardith Hoff
Surgeon General Vivek Murthy recently sounded the alarm on a growing health crisis in America: loneliness. He compared the effects of loneliness to smoking15 cigarettes a day, linking it to cardiovascular disease, dementia, stokes, depression and anxiety.
One of the factors he blamed it on, is the rise of technology. As we spend more and more time on our electronic devices, we disengage from people, even the people closest to us, sometimes even those in the same room. We have become more and more isolated. We change jobs more frequently and more people are working from home. Whereas, in previous generations, extended families were more likely to live in close proximity, now the younger generations often move far away. More people are living alone!
When my husband, of 55 years, died. I was sure I would be terribly lonely. My son lived fairly close, but my daughter lives far away. I allowed myself time to grieve, but I soon began to realize I needed to develop a new life on my own. I began sorting accumulated belongings and got rid of the excess. My church family rallied around me, and I reached out to friends and family far away, via FaceTime and Skype. One of my old friends, who was also alone, and I made a regular Skype call every Tuesday afternoon. I also joined a book club and signed up for a fitness class. I made trips to visit my two older sisters, who were also widowed. I eventually moved back to my hometown to be closer to them and other nieces, nephews and cousins. I joined a new church and started getting more involved at church and in the community.
I realize that not everyone is able to be active, or to make big moves, but there are things one can do, even if home bound. I wrote a childhood memoir, at home. I put together scrap books and books of poetry that I had been writing for years. I even wrote some new poems to express the new emotions I was feeling. I did some artwork and took time to read more, having more quiet time to enjoy it. I made phone calls to visit with people in nursing homes who, in spite of living in group settings, are generally very lonely and tend to isolate in their rooms, either by choice or of necessity.
As Christians, we all need to remember, that we are never alone. Jesus knew what it was to be lonely. He said, “Yet I am never alone, for my Father is always with me.” John 6:32. When we think we have no one to talk to, God is there!